Being Thankful

This weekend my family is attending two celebrations. A birthday and a memorial. Both are for 3 year

old children. The stark contrast has has been weighing heavily on my mind. It is a reminder that there are no certainties. Life has no map. No promises. All I have is this moment. All we all have is this moment. Once I became a parent I realized these truths and they were magnified. Hope and fear no longer live in separate areas of my brain, they take up the same space now. I lay down every night thankful for what I have and where I have been because tomorrow, well, is uncertain.

Holding my own daughter for the first time was life changing. I no longer was just “I”, I was we. Every thought I had was no longer just about myself, it was about my family. Every choice I had to make weighed heavily. No one gave me a guide to parenting. Sure, there are hundreds of books on the subject but each one different from the next. How was I to know which one held the “right” information? And even if I had all the right answers and made all the right choices, no one could tell me what the future would hold.

So, like many mothers and fathers before us, we do what feels right. We approach each new decision with caution and our very best intentions. Our choices, my choices, may not be the right one for someone else. But they are mine and they work for my family. They are the stepping stones that make up my path that I have to walk. Where that path will lead me is unknown. I have to have faith that it is mine alone and that no matter how painful, it is the correct one for me.

My life is not all rainbows and sunshine. I have my struggles, sadness, and challenges. Just like every other human, I am perfectly imperfect. However, I choose to not dwell on these challenges. Instead, I focus on all the good that is in my life. For, in the end, that is all that matters. How happy I was. How much love I gave and received. At the end of each day, I let anything negative go. If something tragic happens tomorrow, I will have faith that I did the best I could and was as happy as possible. No regrets.

We each have our own paths. It is up to us as parents, as a community, to support each other on these varied roads. What challenges one parent may bring delight to another. And what frustrates them may not phase their neighbor. Our perceptions and experiences are all different and we feel differently due to them. When we see someone struggling, we shouldn’t judge, we should offer support, a safe place to lean.

I only know my truth and try hard not to assume anyone elses. I don’t know what an individual has been through. What their path has looked like. I would not want them to judge or assume anything about me either. We need each other. Life is challenging and we need the support of our fellow humans. We need to be able to lean on one another without fear of judgement.

I hope for my daughter’s future. I hope that she will appreciate all that her path has to offer. As parents, isn’t that what we all want? Happiness for our children? We strive for it and do our very best. Because, in the end, whenever that may be, it is all we have.

So, as this weekend approaches I try to focus on appreciating what I have and where I have been. I acknowledge my path and it’s bumps and dips. I am thankful for today. For this moment. I am grateful for having known the little boy whose life will be celebrated. He will live on in our hearts, our memories, and in our love. Our love for him, for his mother and father, for his community and for each other.

I ask that you all take a moment and be thankful. Be thankful for everything in your life regardless if it is perceived as good or bad. Just be thankful.