That's right, we have entered the head lice phase of parenting. Where every new friend is a potential carrier and every hug could lead to an infestation. I have perfected my bug hunting skills and am armed to the hilt with RID and 73 nit combs.
Bring it head bugs.
I grew up with three younger siblings in my house and worked in a day care after high school. I am no stranger to lice. I know all the tricks and tips to deter and diminish. Yet, when I opened the email I couldn't help but shudder and scratch my head.
How did I go from Google-ing cradle cap remedies to search any and all websites on how to prevent head lice? No one warned me about this milestone. I should have seen it coming but still, a warning would have been nice.
I finished the email and promptly gathered all the hair ties I could find. Class was in 2 hours. That meant I had an hour and a half to pull back every hair on that girl's head. I managed to form the world's saddest bun and hold the rest back with a glittery headband. (Maybe the shine from the glitter would blind the lice as they threw themselves at her head?) I admired my handiwork and went to the kitchen to grab a celebratory cookie. 45 seconds later I returned to find my daughter on the toilet with all of the hair things I had to carefully assmebled into a hair-fortress strewn across the bathroom.
Clearly, in this war, she had taken the side of the enemy.
I contemplated leaving her hair down. Spritzing her with tea tree oil and admit that I did my best, even if it was half-assed. Then I had a vision. The vision was of a screaming three-year-old in the bath tub while I tried to wash her hair with lice treatment. This vision was especially vivid due to the fact that every normal hair washing ends with someone crying. (It is a tie between her and I.....) Instead I did what any great mom would do, I explained the situation to her. Scare tactics always work, right?
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| Image courtesy of http://www.weeshare.net/2011/09/avoid-lice-outbreaks-with-fairy-tales-hair-care.html |
"If you don't wear your hair back you will catch head lice. They are tiny bugs that live in your hair." Simple. Consise.
"Are they cute bugs?" Oh, she is good at this.
"No. They are yucky bugs that will make your head itch."
"Maybe they will be my friends?" Seriously?! She clearly was devoted to siding with these cute bug friends.
"No. They will not be your friends." I replied. Then, the winning argument, "If you get head lice you will not be able to see your friends or go to class for a long time."
She contemplated this for 20 seconds the handed over the hair paraphernalia she was holding hostage.
I won!! Maybe there is an upside to this head lice epidemic*.
I quickly refashioned the hair-fortress and we left for a class that was later declared lice free. They went to every effort (and then some) to clean and de-bug any and everything. Throurough ain't seen nothing on this. I thanked the teachers and we had a collective shudder over the thought of bugs on us. "The crazy thing is that the super clean kids are the most at risk! It isn't a "dirty" affliction at all. The bugs prefer a clean scalp," one of the instructors commented.
Which brings me to win number two in the war against lice. My daughter hates her hair being washed. So, I don't very often. I dream of daily hair washings but right now, I don't have the strength to start that particular fight. And now? Now my laziness is justified. Please don't tell the kid. She doesn't need any more ammo.
Every new milestone in parenting is met with equal parts excitement for the future and a yearning for the past. I am excited that we didn't catch head lice and I yearn for the days of cradle cap. But, we survived. I feel like I came out unscathed, if not a little twitchy. And next time the shock of reading the words "help us with head lice at [her schools' name]" in the subject of an email won't leave me looking for the clippers to shave her head. And mine.
*While the threat of head lice never reached epidemic proportions it sure did feel like it. I think any outbreak of lice should be called an epidemic and the National Guard called in. When is the head lice vaccination coming out and where do I get in line? Seriously. Ew.
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