No More What-Ifs

Imagine you have to undergo eye surgery. Unfortunately there is a chance it won't be successful, and you'll go blind. To make up for the risk, the insurance company is paying for a whole month of soaking up memories. What do you want to see and do?

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This prompt left me asking so many questions. First was, why would I be having eye surgery? Is it elective? In that case, this whole hypothetical situation is a moot point. I do not do elective surgery. But, what if it was medically necessary?  What would it be treating? What could it possibly be correcting with such a high risk? If I opted out of surgery, what would be the worst case scenario? (Blindness seems like pretty much the worse thing to happen as far as your eyes go.....)

If I take this prompt at face value, not asking any further questions, I end up with a pretty quick answer.

I do nothing. I continue on with my life as usual. Trying to cram in memories leads to disappointments and more heartbreak. Instead, I would continue on living the way I do now. For every moment.

Simple, easy.

But, if I was to elaborate, I would say that I refuse to give this scenario much thought. Life is full of what ifs. Moments that could go wrong and alter your future forever. Worrying and pondering will not change the outcome but it will interfere with the moments you still have.


This prompt was a challenge in many ways. I wanted to write more, post something I really loved. But the reality, the truth is, I don't love this prompt. I don't like "what ifs." I have no time for them, I allowed them to rule my life for way too long, years ago. I am done worrying about what may be, what could be, and am focused on what is.

I have way too much to be thankful for to waste time worrying about the things I cannot change.

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This post is part of a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.My topic was submitted by, Confessions of a part-time working mom

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                      Stacy Sews and Schools

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                    Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://morethancheeseandbeer.blogspot.com           More Than Cheese and Beer

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                          Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                     Someone Else’s Genius

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                        Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                    Crumpets and Bullocks

http://fbxadventures.blogspot.com                      FBX Adventures (In Parenting)

http://elleroywashere.com                                  elleroy was here

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                  Climaxed

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com               Evil Joy Speaks

My Life In Music

If a movie were going to be made about your life, what are 7 songs that would be on the soundtrack to that movie and why would you choose those songs?

Music has always played an enormously important role in my life. There have been songs that have gotten me through some dark times and others that have helped me celebrate the good.

Choosing only seven songs to represent my life in a soundtrack is close to impossible. Maybe 70, 700 would be better. Every memory I have has a musical counterpart. Every moment a note worthy tune. So, here are seven of those memory inducing pieces. Sometimes it is the lyrics, sometimes the melody. Whatever it is, these songs never fail to induce memories.

1.     I have to start with the song my husband and I first danced to as husband and wife. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine as sung by a good friend of ours. You can read the entire story HERE.

2.     Over The Rainbow by Israel "Iz" Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole always brings me back to my pregnancy with our daughter. She was conceived after a heart breaking loss and a whole lot of time. A successful birth after a loss is referred to as a “rainbow baby.” She is ours and this song summed it all up perfectly for us.

3.     Brave by Sara Bareilles. This song speaks to me loudly and clearly. I stopped writing for a while. When I slowly started to open myself up to it again this song became popular. I found comfort in those words.

4.     Black by Pearl Jam. The memories this song brings back from my earlier years are intense. However, sometimes it is nice to throw open the flood gates and drown in the nostalgia.

5.     Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional.  This would play during the montage that would be the summer my husband and I fell in love.

6.     Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson would play while I went to my first concert (Miss Gibson, of course) and during the subsequent coming-of-age series that would follow.

7.     Anything by the Eagles or Air Supply or Abba would play in the background during my childhood. This was music I remember my mother playing and singing along to in the car.

There are so many more songs I could list. These seven seem like a drop in the musical ocean of my soundtrack.

What song(s) speak to you? Do you have a theme song?

Thank you for reading my contribution to Baking In A Tornado’s Secret Subject Swap. 14 bloggers secretly swapped subjects/writing prompts to interpret into their own style. My prompt was submitted by Climaxed. Please head over and check out their post and all the other brave bloggers!!

Regretless

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

The Momisodes
More Than Cheese And Beer

Stacy Sews and Schools
Confessions of a part-time working mom

          Dinosaur Superhero Mom           

Searching for Sanity

Dates 2 Diapers 2

Evil Joy Speaks

Spinster Snacks

Follow Me Home...
FBX Adventures (In Parenting) 

Spatulas on Parade
Small Talk Mama


My prompt this time around was:

In life everyone has regrets, things they've done, things they haven't done. What is your biggest regret, and if you could change things, would you?

It was submitted by:
FBX Adventures (In Parenting)

___________________________________________

In a word: nothing. I made a conscious decision early in my life to live without regrets. To let myself off the hook. Everything I have done has led me to today, and for that I am deeply grateful.

As I am typing this I am surrounded by people who love and believe in me. I am sitting in a house that not only holds most of my history but also my future. I have an amazing husband, one I never even dared to pray for out of fear of seeming greedy. I have a daughter who takes my breath away. I am frequently close to tears at all my life has become.

My life, although one I deeply appreciate, is not perfect. There are moments I wish were not so hard.  But regret? No. As soon as I allow myself to let regret in, I start to doubt myself. I allow my fears and shortcomings to win. Instead, I own my past. I own my actions. I apologize frequently and admit that I am wrong. I, after all, am only human. I cannot hold myself up to impossible standards. I cannot get angry with myself for something that I would easily forgive anyone else for.

I try to live my life in such a way that I do not end up with regrets. I am not perfect; of course I have moments of wishing something hadn’t happened or wishing I hadn’t said something. When this happens I try to see what good will come from the situation. I do not allow my thinking to turn negative or regretful. I move on. I apologize or I walk away. What is done is done, no sense in dwelling.

I cannot change the past, but I can learn from it, and better myself for the future. 

My Job

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

The Momisodes

Small Talk Mama 
Confessions of a part-time working mom

           A Working Mom's "Whoas"           

Searching for Sanity

Go Momma!

Evil Joy Speaks

Stacy Sews and Schools

Follow Me Home...

Spatulas on Parade

My subject this time around is: They say that in the next 25 years many of the jobs we work will become extinct to be replaced with jobs we've never thought could exist. If you had a choice, what job would you like to be retired forever, and what job would you invent in its place?

It was submitted by:
Searching for Sanity

*****

This is a tough question. I actually don’t have any answers for it. My jobs are mom, wife and writer. Three jobs I hope never go extinct. As for the future, well, I just don’t know.

My daughter once told me that she wants to be a mommy, just like me, when she grows up. Nothing anyone has ever said has made me feel as good as I did in that moment. My little girl wants to be like me.

She has recently added to her list of future positions. Ballerina, construction worker and astronaut currently top the list. “I’ll still be a mommy, too,” she says after her latest vocational proclamation. “Just like you.”

I always knew I’d become a mom. I am the oldest of a handful of siblings and even more cousins. My mom ran an at home daycare while I was growing up. Children have surrounded me since I was a kid myself. I knew that one day my own would become an important part of my life, but I had no idea just how much. 

The only career related dream I ever possessed was to write. It always seemed just out of reach, beyond any reality that I would find myself in. I fumbled through an assortment of entry-level little-experience-needed jobs until the middle of my pregnancy with my daughter. Bed rest was the end of working and the beginning of my real job.

Here I am, three years later, following my dream of writing, all thanks to the freedoms allowed by being a stay at home mom. All thanks to the little girl who wants to be just like me when she grows up.

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

TheMomisodes

Moore Organized Mayhem

The Sadder ButWiser Girl

         Crazy As Normal            

Searching for Sanity

Follow me home . . .

Evil Joy Speaks

The Bergham’s LifeChronicles

Dates 2 Diapers

The Insomniac’s Dream

- See more at: http://www.juiceboxconfession.com/2013/12/secret-subject-swap-everyday-smiles.html#sthash.wwlfj19i.dpuf

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

TheMomisodes

Moore Organized Mayhem

The Sadder ButWiser Girl

         Crazy As Normal            

Searching for Sanity

Follow me home . . .

Evil Joy Speaks

The Bergham’s LifeChronicles

Dates 2 Diapers

The Insomniac’s Dream

- See more at: http://www.juiceboxconfession.com/2013/12/secret-subject-swap-everyday-smiles.html#sthash.wwlfj19i.dpuf

Secret Subject Swap: Everyday Smiles

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

TheMomisodes

Moore Organized Mayhem

The Sadder ButWiser Girl

         Crazy As Normal            

Searching for Sanity

Follow me home . . .

Evil Joy Speaks

The Bergham’s LifeChronicles

Dates 2 Diapers

The Insomniac’s Dream

My subject this time around is: List The Things That Make You Smile Every Day 

It was submitted by: Moore Organized Mayhem

And here we go......

The things that make me happy every day? That is easy.

*My daughter. Not matter how hard or trying my days at home with her can be. Every day since she was conceived, she has brought me happiness. She has made me a better, stronger person. Also, her love of art. She draws every day and every day it makes me smile. I can see the pride in her eyes when i know exactly what it is she created. Watching an artist take form is an honor.

*My husband. He is the best. Seriously. I am super mega blessed to call this man mine.

*Interacting with my Facebook page "fans." They are some of the funniest and most supportive people in cyber space. Which leads me to...

*My online friends. I have a couple friends that I have made online through blogging. We have grown close and they never cease to put a smile on my face with their encouragement or downright hilarity.  

It is a short list. Other things make me smile, just not every day. I don't smile as easily as I feel like other people do. If I was to replace the word "smile" with "happy" the list would be much bigger.

*Having our house makes me happy. My husband and I are self proclaimed Gypsies. We moved 3 times in the first 18 months of our daughter's life and that was after moving 4 times before she was born. Now, we have a house. We have a stable, comfortable place to call home. A place to raise our daughter. That makes me beyond happy every minute of every day.

*Writing. This blog. My column. They make me happy. I am so very happy that i decided to "go public" with my love of writing. I am happy every day that I was able to put the negative voices and nay-sayers out of my head and follow my heart. I am happy every single time someone reads what I wrote. 

*My life. Even in my darkest hours I appreciate the life I live. It may be humble but it is mine. I want for nothing that is necessary. I am loved and safe and taken care of. 

*My marriage. I am the product of a broken family, in many definitions. I have watched marriages crumble under the weight of themselves. I have seen hearts and lives shattered by lies and deception. Every day I am happy, thankful, that I have a solid marriage. That I have no doubts about my husband or our future. That I can say with conviction that he loves me and we are in this for ever. That makes me happy with every breath I take.

*Being a stay at home mom. It is a luxury that has a steep price tag. One that we had to make a lot of changes for. Every morning when I wake up and watch cartoons with my daughter instead of getting her ready for daycare, I am happy. Some people have careers that they love and enjoy going to work. I did not. This is my work now. And i happy that we make it work, no matter how hard it is.

I could go on and on with what makes me happy every day. There are days that I can hardly control my tears because I feel so lucky. To me, a successful life is not measured in money. Wealth is not how many dollars you have in you bank account. These things are measured by smiles and laughs and happy tears. I have a successful life full of all the wealth I need.

Now, I turn this over to you. What makes you all smile/happy every day?

        

Secret Subject Swap: Crazy Love

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

The Insomniac’s Dream

The Gamer’s Corner

Moms Don’t SayThat

Stacy Sews and Schools

Home on Deranged

Discovering Me

The Black Sheep Mom

Spatulas on Parade

Confessions of a part-time working mom

Rants From My Crazy Kitchen           

My Subject is: The Craziest Thing You Did To Impress A Guy. Submitted by
Spatulas on Parade.

I was excited to be a part of this swap. It is right up my writing alley. I didn't have to use my own brain to think of a subject, I could let someone else do that. All I had to do was a little copy and paste action then just let the thoughts flow from my head to my keyboard. 

The email with my subject came in right after I finished writing a (still unpublished) piece about the men in my life and my lack of childhood wedding dreams. 

"I never was one of those girls who would fantasize about her wedding day. Men intimidated me and I couldn’t imagine trusting one so deeply that I would want to vow my eternal love to him."

I re-read my prompt three times before bursting out laughing. I was never the kind of girl to do things to impress a guy. My mindset was always that if he didn't like me for me, he could leave. Plus, the idea of keeping up an act was exhausting. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Then, as always, the anxiety hit. Now what do I do? I got the one topic I had no response to. I turned to my husband to talk it out with him. After I rambled on and on about how i never did anything to impress anyone and asking him 57 million times if he remembered me doing anything out of character to woo him, he sat in front of me and smiled. 

"No," he said and smiled again.

There it was. There was my post. There was my answer. The craziest thing I ever did to impress a guy?

I was myself. 

And if you know me, that in itself is pretty cray cray.

So here I am, at what I thought would be the conclusion of this piece. It was all wrapped up neatly. I was pleased with my answer. Done and done. Until I realized the one, big, thing I ever did to impress a guy.

I tossed away pretenses, I let go of hurt, I allowed him in when I vowed not to. I fell head over heels in love when I vowed to myself I wouldn't.

And then, I married him.

Guess it worked. He was impressed and 11 1/2 years later, I do not regret a thing.