Celebrate.

I try to celebrate every moment.

The tough, the easy, the happy, the sad.

They all deserve celebration because they, when woven together, create a tapestry of my life.

When I look at the proverbial glass, I do not see one that is half full or half empty. I see a glass that is just right. A glass with history and room to grow. A glass that I can drink from and refill. I see possibilities.

I have days that are a challenge to celebrate. Days I would rather run and hide. Days that I want to pull the dark cloud that hovers over me, down over my face and scream. Where the tears out number the laughter. Those are the days that need celebrating the most.

Those are the days that I take a deep breath and focus on what I have. I celebrate a supportive husband and a happy child. I celebrate a roof over my head and food to eat. I celebrate a life lived well lived. I celebrate the ability to cry without fear of judgment. I celebrate how far I’ve come and how far I will go. I celebrate knowing that the sun will shine again; it just might need some help from me.

I have not always celebrated every moment. I used to fight against them. Push so hard to distance myself from feeling anything at all. I built walls and hid so well, I couldn’t even find myself. I succumbed to the darkness, a place of no celebration. I hit a rocky bottom and realized I wasn’t living. I was barely existing.

It was a long climb out of that darkness. The path was not well marked. I had to forge my own trail. I slowly and carefully walked into the light of day. One step at a time, celebrating every small victory along the way.

Frequently you are told to never look back. March on and do not wallow in the past. I disagree. I am my past. My present and my future as well. I not only look back, but I celebrate where I have been, what I have been through, and where I am going. This is my story, my journey; I have to celebrate it fully. No one else will, it is up to me.

I will always celebrate. Gratitude is my theme and celebration a means to acknowledge all that I am thankful for. It is a deeply personal celebration that I chose to share through my words.

Not everyone will understand. They will move along, looking for more snark, less feelings.

And you know what? That is ok. I write for ME, as part of MY celebration. Nothing will stop me from being grateful for every moment of every day, even the moments that bring me to my knees. Those moments, I celebrate more. They are the ones that make me grow and become a better person. There is no wrong way to celebrate, this is they way I chose.

Yesterday, as I walked down the sidewalk, towards the bookstore in which my beautiful family was running amok, I had a moment of pure, simple, happiness. The sun was warming my face for the first time in months. Laughter filled the air as people emerged from their winter hibernation. The smell of melting snow and fresh mud wafted through the air. The feeling of hope and renewal and CELEBRATION was visceral. I had to fight back tears of happiness.

Every moment deserves a celebration. Life deserves to be celebrated. Find the reasons in every simple moment. Shift your focus. It’ll all become clear and when it does, it is beautiful. 

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